On the Vulnerability of Being Seen

I Tossed My Pseudonym on Medium

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Guinevere Vanderpants is history.

I am not the first to note this extreme discomfort of feeling seen, findable, knowable. It is really scary, and why I have, for the most part, written under a pseudonym. But I want to be a whole person, not a fragmented identity hiding in an online profile.

Tim Kreider’s 2013 article I Know What You Think of Me got to the heart of it. He comments that he thinks the very worst kind of cyber attack we could collectively go through would be the publication of our private email or text exchanges, what we really think about ourselves and each other for all to see.

But that’s the deal, as we fight the wave of AI content making our life’s purpose obsolete. We keep showing up, and sharing our work. I started publishing on Medium in 2018, after coming across Dr. Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability, and not worrying about the feedback of those “not in the ring.” She says that allowing vulnerability involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, but it’s also the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy. And I want all of those things, so this seems like a good place to start.

And, FYI, I can’t find the exact clip, but comedian Josh Johnson said someone isn’t your friend if the publication of your private text exchange wouldn’t low-key ruin your life, so we I don’t know maybe it would be good for all of us to have such catharsis? Asking for a friend.